"The BLUES ain't bout makin yo self feel better, its bout makin other people feel worse"

I LOVE music, and i absolutely love jazz and "The Blues", there is just something about it that speaks volumes to me. The title of this blog is a quote from the Simpsons, and it is delivered by one of my most fav characters (who unfortunately got killed off) Bleeding Gums Murphy!!! I remember when i first got my guitar, all i wanted to play was the blues, so i started to learn some of Eric Clapton's songs, although there was lightyears worth of distance between my skills and his (i'll let you decide who is better). Somehow through the years i've drifted in to the happy go lucky world of Jazz, which i also love but when i went to "Charlotte Street Blues" (which is the name of the blues bar that i shot these images at, thanx to a fantastic guitarist and drummer friends of mine who are none other than Couros Sheibani and Henry Dobson) the expressions on the musician's faces reminded me of how much i use to love the blues and just how emotional it can get when performing or playing.

From now on i am going to start playing more often, and hopefully start developing more skills and riffs. My problem is that i have the attention span of a squirrel and can never finish learning a scale or chord progression properly so i end up forgetting it a couple of days later, but now if i force myself to learn songs and play with more people regularly then i will have no choice but to get better!!!

All the performers at the bar were incredible both to watch and listen to and i was completely blown away by their skill and passion!!! I was put to shame by a boy who looks no older than 14 playing like a seasoned pro, and seeing that kid play in such an amazing way has inspired me to go back to the guitar & sax and play my ass of every day!!! I will definitely be going back to Charlotte Street to listen to some more amazing music being performed by london's best blues musicians and young talent.

A Fresh Start

Firstly apologies for not having posted this sooner and not being very responsive to people's messages, but in my defence i've been a bit busy and am at a very important point in my life. For the past couple of weeks i have been in training and working for a really great company that i hope i still feel the same about in the next couple of years as i can actually see myself having a future with my current job. When i was younger i absolutely loved the sense of security and routine, it made me efficient and confident but unfortunately it also made me arrogant and while the other kids my age were playing football, tag, jump rope etc... i spent my time reading, doing my multiplication tables and talking with my teachers to see how i can learn more and improve my knowledge of things... in other words i was a teachers Chihuahua!!! It was the same when i first came to england, i tried to keep to myself and also to my studies but little by little i started to change and as i started to go in to higher education, the sense of routine and stable life kind of started to scare me as i had started to improvise and take things as they come instead of mapping my life out before i have even done anything.

Now i have been given an amazing opportunity and i am so very happy to be at a point in my life where i am excited by whats going to happen but i can rest assure that as long as i work hard and keep pushing myself to do better, i can achieve the goals that i set for myself. I love performing and i love photography, but i think above all the thing i love the most is... connecting with people and to me that is the most valuable thing and i am so grateful that i get to be able to balance all of those three things in one job that pushes me to do better, that inspires me to help and inspire others.

Well my point is that life will throw you an obstacle course and you can try to plan what route you are going to take or you can just run through it blind, but if you take a moment look around you and tackle the course section by section and actually enjoy and find away to make the obstacles easier for yourself it no longer becomes an obstacle course but a fascinating maze to explore.

As for the pictures, they are from a recent production titled "She From The Sea" that a very good friend of mine designed. The production is a part of a bigger company which aims to give women who have had a rough journey and have been involved with the justice system a fresh start and a chance to explore a passion weather it is in performance or other aspects. I wish them all the best of luck with their careers and i hope to see more productions in the near future.

"You think you know, BUT you DONT!!!!"

Yesterday i had the fantastic pleasure of shooting a very good friend of mine, who is a very talented Actor/Singer/ Dancer/ Yogi and all round great person, known by the name of Mat Millns. Mat is currently performing at the Pentamiters Theatre in Hampstead in "You Never Can Tell". I know Mat from our days at the Gielgud (where i met many good friends whom i dearly miss as i don't get to see them as much as i use to) so when he asked me to do some quick head shots for him in the park before his show, it was a no brainer.

To say that Mat is full of life is an understatement as he has the ability to walk in to a room full of people he has never met and within minutes turn them in to an army of friends. Mat is someone whom i would ask advice from because he is a very honest person and wont tell me things i want to hear, to me that is a valuable friend as he tells me his exact view without any sugar coating.

Normally when i shoot actor's head shots i usually use a huge window to my back or have a speedlight in to a reflective or shoot through umbrella which has given me some fantastic results, but this time when i was shooting with mat we decided to use natural light in the park. Normally i jump strait to my speedlight as it is what i am use to and i know what results i can get from it, so in a way it is my safety net, but this time all i had to work with was the sunlight being diffused by the trees which to my surprise gave me MUCH BETTER results than any of my strobes did as there was this amazing quality to the light that i could never get with speedlights or strobes.

Some of the shots that i used a speedlight behind mat for were inspired by Zack Arias (who is an amazing photographer based in Atlanta Georgia). I know mat is a very earthly and i figured since we were in the park, lets try and get him to do some yoga and give the impression that he is drawing energy from the forest which is lighting up from the centre. I used a simple canon 430ex ii at full power (with a Stofen diffuser to spread the light) behind Mat with pocket wizards to trigger them. I exposed for mat and just lit the background with the speedlight, that way i get this cool effect where mat is a tad bit underexposed and the background is sort of glowing with light.

Ow and as for the title, its one of mat's lines from "You Never Can Tell" he has most of the best lines in the whole production, its only a pity it took 2 hours for his character to grace the stage, but WELL WORTH THE WAIT!!!

Just My Luck!!!!

Sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball and just rock back and forth because just when i think things are going well life throws a spanner in the works, let me explain.... For the past 3 months i have been doing everything i can to try and get a casting by meeting directors/ producers/ designers/ Casting directors etc... i have been waiting, hunting and begging (well not begging) for a casting and NOTHING, absolute ZILCH!!! All would have been well if i wasn't made redundant from my evening job by two very small minded, petty and IDIOTIC managers. Slowly but surely my finances started to dwindle as i desperately tried to get part time work but no luck. Just when i was about to admit defeat and go back to ushering there was a ray of hope, i was offered a really great job with a really great company and so i jumped at the chance. I figured i will work there for hopefully a year and then see weather i want to cary on a career in that company or if i am HEART AND SOUL an actor by returning to the uncertainty of employment!!!

Now that i am ready and looking forward to starting my new job, i get a call from my agent for 2 really great auditions WHICH I CANNOT MAKE!!!!! this was partially my fault as i had forgotten to update them with my availability, but the timing of it COULDN'T BE WORSE!!! if the first audition was a day EARLIER or the second audition a day LATER it would have been alright but 3 DAMN MONTHS of waiting, hunting and begging (well not begging) AND NOW 2 really great auditions come along and I CANT DO IT without jeopardising my new job (which i have been looking forward to starting for over a month now).

If all of that wasn't enough, i think i may have pissed my agent off with my availability, WHICH IS NEVER A GOOD THING!!!!! I have great respect for my agents because they have been very patient with me and they have been getting me seen for a lot of castings, which is seriously making me think... maybe the reasons i am not getting these castings is cause i am not very good as an actor.

Anywho enough about me ranting and raving, lets talk about these images. The pictures you see are from a production of King Lear at Central School of Speech & Drama, by first and second year students. This is the second time i photographed a production of King Lear and this one was an absolute pleasure to photograph as the director gave me freedom to roam wherever i wanted to and if i had missed something we can photograph it later by getting the actors to re do it. I was very impressed with the production (i have yet to read king lear but i will do so hopefully tonight) and the design aspects of it as well, i think all the people involved in the production have something to be proud of because there were times when i was drawn in by whats going on on stage and i almost forgot i had a job to do.

I hope one day i am back performing on stage again like these young talented performers so until then i wish them all the best with their careers and look forward to hearing about them or seeing them in other productions soon.